Debts

today I want to write about what I'm missing
not to waste hours
or to throw words into the abyss:
to sink into my depths
alone and naked.
what proof can I give of my mortality?
I'm just plain
with freckles, dreams and sorrow.
I have two children
another will be born in September.
I'm a bad lay
-I get pregnant just like that-
I'm number 338123 on my identity card
no photo -the kids ripped it up-
no record of offenses,
serious or petty -
I work as a program editor
a salary of 163 pesos
a literature degree
many uncollected poems
and friends in four categories:
reliable good terrible and sad.
a house that isn't mine
an electtric fan, a comb
the balalaika that my brother brought me
the piano from childhood concerts
a magnifying glass to see reality better
photos of Marti and Hemingway
reproductions
books they haven't stolen from me yet
maps widening the wall
letters from old lovers
a watch, a blue butterfly, a heart
and many debts
infinite debts with life

-Reina Maria Rodriguez